a drop from moon
and you left without words
a drop from moon
no flower did I found a boon
to save a piece of moon, my prize
cherished prize of flares, your glance
a drop from moonA try at Rondelet, please visit dVerse poets pub for more information.
nice up and down of emotion in this one...them leaving without words after what must have been such a magical glance...smiles...nice rondelet
ReplyDeleteHi Sreeja. You've departed a wee bit from the strict rondelet form - lines 2,5 and 6 are meant to rhyme with each other - but you've written a fine poem by choosing to adapt the form rather than be constrained by it, and I think that's what poets should do.
ReplyDeleteoh i'd love to see moon's droplets... beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteI like the refrain, a drop from moon ~ At the end, the refrain's meaning changed a bit ~
ReplyDeleteGood to see you Sreeja ~
nice...a drop from moon...and sad on the leaving without words...
ReplyDelete...to save a piece of moon --- that i always did... lovely rondelet with a pin drop of sadness.. smiles..
ReplyDeleteLike how you used the moon to represent so many different aspects ...
ReplyDeleteI feel like like I am wandering through the night.
ReplyDeleteIt's getting dark outside, and this makes me want to seek the moon's company - nice.
ReplyDeleteI like the feel of this, a drop from or a flare from moon, although I cannot grab the sense of it fully. Something is fleeting and there is no compensation, it is or is of moon. I'm tempted to see it all as verbal action, a slipping away. So hard to capture the moon.
ReplyDeleteThe rise and fall of emotion...beautiful
ReplyDelete